Social

Going for Umrah vs. Serving my Parents

 

Question:

 

I have a question in relation to an issue i am facing. Quite often, i get asked when i am planning to perform Umrah, or to visit Saudi Arabia. In my culture , its common for families to perform Umrah regularly -perhaps on a year/bi-yearly basis.

 

Alhamdulilah, i have completed my Hajj Fardh and have done Umrah. Thus, if i save for example, £500 in my salary i keep in in my account for maybe:

 

a. Saving a house deposit or emergency

b. Save towards investing in projects for my parents (Doing a new kitchen bathroom etc for them)

 

Often, i feel pressured in going to Umrah by wider society, since one not going is either regarded as "stingy", "surpressed", or not of good fate (naseeb daar)

 

Here in the UK wealthy families go regularly - some of which their children, have had their Umrah's paid.  

 

This has often seen me get into disputations saying that for me, there is no need to go (as i am looking after my family), 

 

My questions are:

 

a. Am i doing the correct thing by taking these bills for my parents (after marriage) and deliberately not going Umrah. I try to explain to my family that it is a 'Fardh' to look after parents and Nafil is 'Umrah' - the emotional reaction i get i that i am 'too technical'

 

b. How can i avoid these argumentative situations with family as at times i feel quite upset and feel low about

 

Please advise me in light of the Prophetic Way.

 


 

 

Answer:

In the Name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful.

As-salāmu ‘alaykum wa-rahmatullāhi wa-barakātuh.

 

To perform Umrah repeatedly is indeed an act of virtue.

Consider the following Hadith,

 

 "‏ تَابِعُوا بَيْنَ الْحَجِّ وَالْعُمْرَةِ فَإِنَّهُمَا يَنْفِيَانِ الْفَقْرَ وَالذُّنُوبَ كَمَا يَنْفِي الْكِيرُ خَبَثَ الْحَدِيدِ ‏"

'Perform Hajj and 'Umrah consecutively; for they remove poverty and sin as the bellows removes impurity from iron.'1

 

The reward for any act of virtue depends on one’s sincerity. If one performs Umrah solely for the pleasure of Allah Taala, it is a means of gaining closeness to Allah Taala.

Performing Umrah to impress people of one’s piety or financial status is riya (showing off) and contrary to Ikhlaas (sincerity)

It is also incorrect for a person performing Umrah to look down upon someone not performing Umrah by referring to him in a negative way. Such references could be also be an expression of riya. What is the point of sacrificing so much financial resources and time in maintaining ones status only to be deprived of reward in the hereafter. In that situation, a person not performing Umrah and fulfilling his Shari obligations at home like taking care of his needs, his aged parents etc. is better of as he is earning rewards and gaining the closeness of Allah Taala while the person performing Umrah with show has committed a major sin using the sacred act of Umrah just to show of.

May Allah Taala grant us tawfeeq to learn Ikhlaas and practice Ikhlaas. Ameen.

 

And Allah Ta’āla Knows Best

Huzaifah Deedat

Student Darul Iftaa
Lusaka, Zambia

Checked and Approved by,
Mufti Ebrahim Desai.

www.daruliftaa.net

 

 

_____________

سنن النسائي (5/ 115)1

 أَخْبَرَنَا أَبُو دَاوُدَ، قَالَ: حَدَّثَنَا أَبُو عَتَّابٍ، قَالَ: حَدَّثَنَا عَزْرَةُ بْنُ ثَابِتٍ، عَنْ عَمْرِو بْنِ دِينَارٍ، قَالَ: قَالَ ابْنُ عَبَّاسٍ: قَالَ رَسُولُ اللَّهِ صَلَّى اللهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ: " تَابِعُوا بَيْنَ الْحَجِّ وَالْعُمْرَةِ، فَإِنَّهُمَا: يَنْفِيَانِ الْفَقْرَ، وَالذُّنُوبَ، كَمَا يَنْفِي الْكِيرُ خَبَثَ الْحَدِيدِ "

 

 

 

Question:

1. If a husband asks his wife to live with his parents and serve them and she refuses to do so, is she sinning? Is that an act of disobedience?

 

2. What rights do parents have on their son's wife? 

 

3. How does Islam protect the interests of the woman post marriage, in case of tyrant and difficult in-laws?

 

 


Answer:

In the Name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful.

As-salāmu ‘alaykum wa-rahmatullāhi wa-barakātuh.

 

Sister in Islam,

  1. According to Shariah, if the husband has the financial means to provide separate shelter for his wife if he has the means to do so.1

If he requests her to live with his parents, she is not obliged to do so. If she agrees to live with her in-laws and serves them, she will be rewarded. If she refuses to stay with them, she will not be sinning.2

 

  1. Parents have no rights over their son’s wife.3

 

  1. The above two laws of Shariah sufficiently protects a woman from abuse. She will live by herself and she has no obligation towards her in-laws.

Sister, the above is a principal answer. However, we cannot ignore the practical realities of a marital life.

 

A wife should understand that her husband is a son to his parents. He had lived with them all his life. There is a strong bond between the parents and the son. The marriage of the son cannot severe the bond. It is natural for the son to love and care for his parents.

 

A successful marriage is based on sacrifices and compromises. If the wife sacrifices herself to serve the husbands parents, that will be valued by them. There may be instances where the wife would require her husband to serve her parents or some family member. If he does so, the wife will value that and that attitude will enhance the love between the two.

 

Tolerance and sacrifice are the foremost ingredients to overcome the challenges in life.

 

We make dua Allah Taala grant you a happy and successful marriage. Ameen.

 

For further reference on the issue you may refer to the ideal woman website of my beloved ustaad, Hazrat Mufti Ebrahim Saheb Hafidhahullah.

 

http://idealwoman.org/

 

 

And Allah Ta’āla Knows Best

Huzaifah Deedat

Student Darul Iftaa
Lusaka, Zambia

Checked and Approved by,
Mufti Ebrahim Desai.

__________________

 

 

الدر المختار وحاشية ابن عابدين (رد المحتار) (3/ 600)1

(قوله وكذا تجب لها) أي للزوجة السكنى أي الإسكان، وتقدم أن اسم النفقة يعمها؛ لكنه أفردها؛ لأن لها حكما يخصها نهر (قوله خال عن أهله إلخ) ؛ لأنها تتضرر بمشاركة غيرها فيه؛؛ لأنها لا تأمن على متاعها ويمنعها ذلك من المعاشرة مع زوجها ومن الاستمتاع إلا أن تختار ذلك؛ لأنها رضيت بانتقاص حقها هداية

العناية شرح الهداية (4/ 397)

لَمَّا فَرَغَ مِنْ بَيَانِ النَّفَقَةِ شَرَعَ فِي بَيَانِ السُّكْنَى. قَالَ (وَعَلَى الزَّوْجِ أَنْ يُسْكِنَهَا فِي دَارٍ مُفْرَدَةٍ لَيْسَ فِيهَا أَحَدٌ مِنْ أَهْلِهِ إلَّا أَنْ تَخْتَارَ ذَلِكَ لِأَنَّ السُّكْنَى مِنْ كِفَايَتِهَا فَتَجِبُ لَهَا كَالنَّفَقَةِ، وَقَدْ أَوْجَبَهُ اللَّهُ تَعَالَى مَقْرُونًا بِالنَّفَقَةِ) حَيْثُ قَالَ {أَسْكِنُوهُنَّ مِنْ حَيْثُ سَكَنْتُمْ مِنْ وُجْدِكُمْ} [الطلاق: 6] وَفِي قِرَاءَةِ ابْنِ مَسْعُودٍ " أَسْكِنُوهُنَّ مِنْ حَيْثُ سَكَنْتُمْ وَأَنْفِقُوا عَلَيْهِنَّ مِنْ وُجْدِكُمْ " (وَإِذَا وَجَبَ السُّكْنَى حَقًّا لَهَا فَلَيْسَ لَهُ أَنْ يُشْرِكَ غَيْرَهَا فِيهَا لِأَنَّهَا تَتَضَرَّرُ بِهِ فَإِنَّهَا لَا تَأْمَنُ عَلَى مَتَاعِهَا وَيَمْنَعُهَا ذَلِكَ مِنْ الْمُعَاشَرَةِ وَمِنْ الِاسْتِمْتَاعِ) وَكَلَامُهُ وَاضِحٌ

 

البناية شرح الهداية (5/ 681)

 (وإذا وجب الإسكان) ش: حال كونه. م: (حقا لها، فليس له أن يشرك غيرها فيه، لأنها تتضرر به) ش: أي بإسكان الغير معها. م: (لأنها لا تأمن على متاعها) ش: وأثاث بيتها. م: (ويمنعها) ش: أي إسكان الغير معها

الدر المختار وحاشية ابن عابدين (رد المحتار) (3/ 601)

 ذات اليسار لا بد من إفرادها في دار،

 

الدر المختار وحاشية ابن عابدين (رد المحتار) (3/ 601)2

قلت: وفي البدائع: ولو أراد أن يسكنها مع ضرتها أو مع أحمائها كأمه وأخته وبنته فأبت فعليه أن يسكنها في منزل منفرد؛ لأن إباءها دليل الأذى والضرر ولأنه محتاج إلى جماعها ومعاشرتها في أي وقت يتفق لا يمكن ذلك مع ثالث؛ حتى لو كان في الدار بيوت وجعل لبيتها غلقا على حدة قالوا ليس لها أن تطالبه بآخر. اهـ فهذا صريح في أن المعتبر عدم وجدان أحد في البيت لا في الدار

3Fatawa Mahmoodiyyah Volume 20 Page 136 Mahmoodiyyah.

Question:

 

I want to know what is shariah ruling on using social media like twitter and facebook. Because I know lots of people scholars also use these social media alike twitter and they talk very freely to ghair mahram. In real life they wouldn’t have the courage to go up in front of woman with niqab and a woman with niqab will not directly talk freely and joke also to a ghair mahram man. This is very common with social media users especially twitter I have noticed.

When we see scholars also behaving like this on social media it is very discouraging and bad example for the youth. The youth see scholars doing this and think this is ok. Random people chat on twitter as if they know each other.


Through this small ‘chit chat’ a relationship is started. I have had personal experiences with my friends. How may girl ‘friends’ they have is shocking! ghair mahram women freely joke and comment for them and they re post on their social media and vice versa.

 

Is all this permissible or even moral and ethical and befit for scholars especially to behave like this?

 

Answer:

 

 

In the Name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful.

As-salāmu ‘alaykum wa-rahmatullāhi wa-barakātuh.


The ruling of social media will depend on the nature and contents of the medium. Since the dominant feature of Facebook is that a user generally views pictures, including those of the opposite gender, the use of Facebook will not be permitted.

 

[1] On the other hand, with respect to a social medium like twitter, generally one may avoid viewing pictures of the opposite gender and other unlawful activities, and the medium can be used in a positive and permissible way. Hence, in principle, the ruling of twitter will depend on the person using it. If one uses it for good or acceptable reasons and he is sure he will not become involved in anything impermissible by using it, it will be permissible for him to do so. [2]

 

On the other hand, if in one’s general usage of twitter, he engages in some haram activity, like looking at pictures of the opposite gender, or freely and unnecessarily engaging in conversation with an unrelated member of the opposite gender, or there is a genuine fear of doing so, it will not be permissible for such a person to use twitter.

 

We cannot comment on the ‘scholars’ you refer to, and each case must be considered individually. But remember that each believer is held accountable only for his own actions. It is a believer’s duty to ground his actions on the teachings of reliable and accepted scholars. He may not take the slips of a scholar as an example for himself.

It is reported from Rasūlullāh (sallAllāhu ‘alayhi wasallam) that he said:

إياكم...وزلة العالم

“Beware of the slip of a scholar.” [3]

 

 

Remember only prophets are infallible, and all people besides them are susceptible to errors and sins.

 

Every person will be taken to task for his own actions, and each person is responsible to ensure that his actions are consistent with the teachings of Shari‘ah.


 

And Allah Ta‘ālā Knows Best


Zameelur Rahman


Student, Darul Iftaa
UK

Checked and Approved by,
Mufti Ebrahim Desai.


www.daruliftaa.net

[1]

 

قال فى القنية من الكراهة: غلب على ظنه أن أكثر بياعات أهل السوق لا تخلو عن الفساد فإن كان الغالب هو الحرام تنزه عن شراءه

 

شرح الحموي، إدارة القرآن، ٣٠٩

 

قال تعالى: قل فيهما إثم كبير ومنافع للناس وإثمهما أكبر من نفعهما

 

[2]

 

الأصل في كل شيء الإباحة

 

 الأشباه والنظائر، إدارة القرآن، ٣٠٢

 

بيع الجارية المغنية لا يكره؛ لأنه ليس عينها منكراً وإنما المنكر في استعماله المحظور. كما صرح به صاحب ((التبيين)) 3: 297، و((رمز الحقائق))1: 329، و((النهر الفائق)) 3: 268، و((حاشية أبي السعود))3: 406

 

خلاصة الكلام في مسألة الإعانة على الحرام

 

[3]

شرح أصول اعتقاد أهل السنة والجماعة، ١:١١٦

 

 

 

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